2005-01-06 - 2:45 p.m. Yesterday, I had a headache for no discernable reason. This was coupled with a very persistent craving for donuts. Now, if the weather had been slightly better, and say, Chicago had not still been in the process of being covered by roughly 20 feet of snow, I might have just popped on over the Dunkin Donuts and treated myself, lying to myself that it had been far too long since I had indulged in sweets. But because the weather was terrible, I decided to wait out both the headache and the craving.But after hours of this, it was getting on toward art class, my headache was still present, as was my sugar craving, as was the weather (except that it was dark now too, making things just that much nastier). I realized that I must have become addicted to sugar over Christmas due to all the cakes and pies and cookies that were, quite literally, falling out of the sky, alarming passers-by but delighting children who had never seen it rain pastries before. I hadn't had any sugar to speak of in a couple of days, and I was going ito sugar withdrawal. I imagined myself in the corner, shivering and slapping my arm, asking for pan dulce from a disapproving Sr. Angie (she was in a foul mood yesterday, and for some reason, adding her to my sugar junkie fantasy amused me). At 5:30, Cristina Ramirez entered the computer lab and squealed her hello, happy to see me, "Kati! You bastard, have you tried to run away yet?" She's been calling me a bastard for about two months now, without fail, every time she sees me. Cristina's had a rough time this year. Her brother got arrested for selling drugs outside his school, her boyfriend joined a gang, and her mom is constantly accusing her of being in one, even though there isn't a girl's gang where she lives currently because "They all got killed." She tries to explain to her mom that that means she cannot be in a gang, because she can't join one from another neighborhood, but her mom is convinced she's going to be just like her brother even though Cristina's on the honor roll at school. Add to this an abusive father who is hardly ever there, and it's clear there's a lot of tension at home. I'm one of the adults she feels comfortable talking to about all of these things, and she's pissed off that I'm leaving in July. She came in one day while I was looking at a website for a placement in England and she said I couldn't go work there because there were no brown people there. She said I wouldn't enjoy working with anyone except brown people. Anyway, back to yesterday, I mentioned that I was craving donuts, and she said, "Come on, we got time." And I decided that Cristina was the perfect excuse to brave the weather, so we bundled up and walked the half-mile to Dunkin Donuts and I bought us some donuts. Cristina talked non-stop the whole way, updating me on everything going on at home and with her boyfriend and school and her friends. When we got back we went downstairs to art, but, presumably because of the weather, no one else was there. So we ate our donuts and talked some more. She's a really smart young woman, and she'll go far. As we talked and the sugar seeped into my system, my headache and my craving went away, thus encouraging my theory that I've become addicted to sugar. Either that or conversation, one. At 7:00 I started organizing the theatre supplies, and she and another girl, Adriana, started going through the make-up. I put on one of the lipsticks, but then said that I look weird when I only wear lipstick without other make-up. Cristina stated matter-of-factly, "That's because you're white." We did some more sculpting. Adriana had to start over again (for the fourth time) because she dropped her dried-out sculpture and it shattered. Cristina complained that hers looks like Leonardo DiCapprio when it's supposed to be me. Edy came down and played the song he wrote to be played in the Pastorela tonight. It's really cool. After art, we stood outside in the snow while Edy cleared off his car. Cristina's boyfriend came around. He's really shy and doesn't want any of his "bad boy reputation" to rub off on Cristina, so he tries to stay away from her when there are adults around. he's a sweet guy actually, and I think he'd be just fine if he had somewhere to go at night. His house isn't that much of a home to him, so he can't go there, and instead winds up on the streets where there's always trouble. He walks Cristina home every night to make sure she gets there safely, but after that he's on his own. Maybe I can convince him to join art, at least give him something to do for awhile. I walked a mile in the snow to the 49 bus stop. I've got a lot of pent up energy lately, so I decided to walk in the weather rather than wait for the 47 bus to take me to the 49 bus stop. The snow was 6" to a foot deep most places, but sometimes there would be a drift for no apparent reason that was 3 feet or so deep. I misjudged where a curb ended and almost ended up on my butt in a sea of white, but I didn't. I got home and shovelled the walk to work off some more energy, thinking over my day and the teens that I work with and the difficulties in their lives. More things that I wish I had the answer to. Anyway, that's what I"m thinking on today. peace,    Page design by Dust. |