2003-03-18 - 2:49 a.m.

I'd like to take a moment to say that I've been an idiot. In my previous entry, I wrote about our plan to drop 800 bombs on Baghdad in the first 48 hours of war. I was wrong. It's 3000.

3000 bombs and missiles on a city of one million. A city the size of Memphis, TN. Has anyone heard the justification for this? I haven't. This could be starting as early as 48 hours from now.

Someone please explain to me how dropping a bomb or missile every four minutes on Baghdad will get rid of Saddam Hussein. Someone tell me that he is a complete moron, and that it would never occur to him to leave the city he lives in to go to one of his numerous other homes or underground bunkers. Someone tell me that even though it never would occur to him to leave, that everyone else in Baghdad is getting the hell out. Tell me this is not as senseless as it seems.

I read, and I listen to the radio. It seems unlikely to me that my lack of TV is the reason that I missed our justification for war- I mean one that makes sense and that doesn't change into another similarly stupid reason when it fails to drum up support.

I don't get it.

I don't understand why EVERYBODY cannot see the dangerous precedent this war is setting. Hey! You harbor terrorists! My proof is that I say so! Okay, here's my evidence, just don't pay attention to the fact that some of it is not current, and some of it is taken out of context and should actually say the opposite of how I'm portraying it. And ignore that part that reveals that this is FALSE. Ignore your suspicions that I made up this part. So what if you can prove it. Look the other way. Go along with me, even if 95% of your country is against this. You know the government doesn't really represent the people. Now lets go into Iraq and kill everyone so that we can oust Saddam and set up a government that represents their people.

We need to show them that they can't just walk over the UN like that. And if we have to step on everything the UN stands for to prove that to them, then so be it.

We need to spread democracy into the Iraq. And while we're doing that, why don't we quietly take away American's rights until this is a fascist state. (And does anyone else remember Bush campaigning less power to the federal gov't, more power to the states? Doesn't anyone else think it strange that he's after Divine Mandate so that all of the power in the country, hell, in the world, comes down to one man- him?)

This world is so scary to me right now. Michael told me earlier today that he heard on one of those right-wing-yell-at-everybody talk shows that they're planning a TAILGATE PARTY FOR THE FIRST DAY OF THE WAR!!!! How sick? How fucked up can you get?

And what can I do about that? How can I make this better? How can I make this stop? What can I, as a voting American citizen, a thinking person, what can I do?

I feel like the protests and the phone calls and the faxes and the visits to Senators and Congresspersons' offices are all in vain. Because they don't do a damn thing. Support for war regardless of UN is anywhere between 35 and 55%, depending on which poll you read which day. There is not a huge majority here supporting this war. And if you look at the world, well god damn. This is the single largest anti-war movement in history, and what the hell good is it doing? The governments are not listening to us.

I feel helpless. I feel like my hands are bound. I want to throw up. I want to kick and scream and hold my breath and make it all stop.

I want to go to a protest and have people listen to what I have to say, and consider it.

I want people to stop acting blindly.

I want people to think about what is going on, to educate themselves, and really consider what is about to happen.

I want to go to sleep at night without the weight of thousands of potentially dead people resting on my soul.

Page design by Dust.