2002-12-26 - 11:34 a.m.

I was in fact going to leave a grand entry of many things- all about my week. But as I was logging on to the computer to do this, I thought, "Puppy's dead," and went to check, and sure enough, he was.

Jeremy and I buried him in the side yard under a bush. We dug the grave with sixteen inch dagger. I held him in my left hand. His body got cold as we sat out there digging. It was all limp, like he was just sleeping in my hand.

Then I came back in and left my entry.

But here's some other things that have happened as well:

I went to Memphis on Saturday after working the day shift at Wing Zone. My parents came home from a party and we hung out watching late shows with funny hosts until Mary came home (an hour late- we were worried). Mary and I were going to go to a drag show, but neither of us felt up to it, so we sat in the living room and talked for several hours instead.

And I found out what a cool person my younger sister is.

Among other things, she told me the story of her two-weeks long relationship with a foreign exhange student. The had a lot of fun on their first date. He left her a rose at the front desk of her dorm the next day. Just generally a sweet and cool guy. The next date was okay, except that they wound up arguing over something. Their next date was to a party at the restaurant he manages with his friends- one of whom Mary had kind of gone out with once (but nothing ever came of it). She was nice to him, and her date really got mad at that. Bitched out his friend for being so disrespectful. Mary was thinking, "They couldn't possibly be arguing about me. I'm only on a third date with one and the other I only went out with once a long time ago." But sure enough...

Things only got worse from there. Every time they went out, they got into an argument. After a week, they were arguing one night, and Dude was like, "I think you need some time away from me to think this out." He was basically blaming Mary for everything, and trying to make her feel guilty about it. She said, "You're the one who's saying that. I never said anything like that." But then the next day while they were talking on the phone, and started arguing again, she said, "You know, you were right last night. I just need some time away from you." He was all, "No, no, we can work it all out," but she said, "No. I just want time away from you," still trying to be nice and all.

The deal was one week with no contact. He called the next day. "Are we okay?" "No. I told you not to call. I'm mad at you. Don't call back." He called the next day, and the next, and the next. Finally, she went to his restaurant to say, "Look. It's over. I don't want to go out with you." It took her half an hour to get that message through to him. He kept pleading and seriously trying everything in the book to get her back. But she didn't go for any of it- not even the romantic language of movies that young women seem to dream of hearing from a man during a conflict. She left, much relieved.

On the way home, he pulled up next to her on the interstate and started signalling her to pull over.

She exited and pulled into a parking lot and they talked for an hour more. He tried everything. And I do mean everything. "Give me another chance." "How many do you need? Every time I've seen you you've had another chance and you've blown every one of them." "How was I supposed to know it was another chance?" "You were with me- it was an opportunity." "I'll fight for you." "There's nothing to fight for. I"m not interested in you." "I just had a bad couple of weeks. I'm not really like that." "Doesn't matter. I'm not interested." "Well, if you hadn't..." blah blah blah. She didn't take any of it. And finally he left.

I'm so proud of my sister. She recognized all the warning signs and did not get roped into a bad relationship. And this from a girl who has very little experience with relationships- only one major one so far. Plus, she's a thinking person, and a feeling person. She has seen, and knows, a lot more than she lets on. She's so cool.

.

So then I went to bed, and didn't sleep. And the next day I was so sick that my parents thought I had pneumonia. I was laid up all day. But the next day... Oh, I won't get into details. Basically, I've been really sick, and battled with the idea of pneumonia for a few days, but it turns out that I don't have it. I was just really sick. the weird thing is that it didn't spread to anyone around me. Not even that boy that I sleep with and kiss and who's been taking care of me since I returned from Memphis.

Last night I slept all the way through. It was the first night in I think five that that happened. No getting up coughing. No laying awake feeling like shit. It was great. I feel great. Comparatively, I guess.

So here I am.

We knew Puppy was going to die sometime soon. He was old, and it was just going to happen. The plan was, and still is, to transfer Bobo into Puppy's metal cage (which he'll like because he loves to climb), and start growing things in his glass cage (which I'll love because I want to learn how to grow things). So if I feel up to it today, that's one of the things I'm going to do.

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